EPILOGUE AND BONUS READING GROUP QUESTIONS
How Much Big Is the Sky: A Memoir of a Mother's Love and Unfathomable Loss
Sherry Chapman
Epilogue
She is a little older now, the woman who counts time. The stretches are longer, but still, she counts time. Not to the minute or to the hour. She is aware of the years and the months and the weeks. Sometimes she will count the days. The number startles her each time.
Her involvement with !MPACT finally ran its course. After Connecticut adopted then enhanced the graduated driver licensing laws, and federal incentives were in place to standardize state GDL programs, she felt she had done what she set out to do. The energy she devoted to that effort was needed to finish the book that is a love song to her son. A son who is and was greater than a poster boy for a tragedy. She continues to work with state and federal safety advocates, but her frenzied grief energy has settled into an internal weight that she bears quietly.
She still wears his things. She never removes his small stud diamond earring from the upper piercing in her left ear. She periodically dons the Enyce shirt he wore in his last family photograph. Sometimes she replaces his locket with a piece from her collection of Victorian mourning jewelry. Other times, she might substitute a bright and chunky necklace. She is learning to embrace color again.
Her relationship with the cemetery remains strong. Following her tenure on the Cemetery Commission, she served as the town’s Cemetery Sexton. The omission of the letter on his headstone was fixed and the granite border installed. Now, even more children surround her son in that little cemetery. She continues to keep the candle lit.
Her family has expanded. A new life brings a renewed obligation. She now understands why so many who experience trauma refuse to talk about it. They wish to protect the ones they love. She will shield this grandchild from the deepest of the family’s history of grief.
She spends her time writing, and nurturing, and learning. She hopes to surprise you with her next book.
Her involvement with !MPACT finally ran its course. After Connecticut adopted then enhanced the graduated driver licensing laws, and federal incentives were in place to standardize state GDL programs, she felt she had done what she set out to do. The energy she devoted to that effort was needed to finish the book that is a love song to her son. A son who is and was greater than a poster boy for a tragedy. She continues to work with state and federal safety advocates, but her frenzied grief energy has settled into an internal weight that she bears quietly.
She still wears his things. She never removes his small stud diamond earring from the upper piercing in her left ear. She periodically dons the Enyce shirt he wore in his last family photograph. Sometimes she replaces his locket with a piece from her collection of Victorian mourning jewelry. Other times, she might substitute a bright and chunky necklace. She is learning to embrace color again.
Her relationship with the cemetery remains strong. Following her tenure on the Cemetery Commission, she served as the town’s Cemetery Sexton. The omission of the letter on his headstone was fixed and the granite border installed. Now, even more children surround her son in that little cemetery. She continues to keep the candle lit.
Her family has expanded. A new life brings a renewed obligation. She now understands why so many who experience trauma refuse to talk about it. They wish to protect the ones they love. She will shield this grandchild from the deepest of the family’s history of grief.
She spends her time writing, and nurturing, and learning. She hopes to surprise you with her next book.
Bonus Reading Group Questions
1. In the opening of the book, the author describes receiving the traumatic call about her son Ryan's accident. Why do you think she chose to begin the story at such a climactic moment?
2. The memoir explores many complex emotions around grief like guilt, anger, faith in crisis, letting go, finding meaning, etc. Which aspect of grief do you think the author captured most vividly?
3. The author engages in many rituals to stay connected to her son like daily cemetery visits. Do you think these rituals help or hinder her healing? Can you relate to that desire to cling to connections?
4. What did you make of the author’s questions around the ethics of forgiveness after tragedy? Have you wrestled with similar moral dilemmas of what can be forgiven?
5. The memoir frequently personifies grief as an ever-present entity. What did this imagery evoke for you as a reader? Could you empathize with that sensation of grief as a “companion”?
6. Have you experienced sudden or traumatic loss? If so, did this memoir provide insight or resonance? For those who haven't, did it still feel emotionally compelling?
7. Which symbols or metaphors stood out to you most as encapsulating the author’s grief journey? Did any take on deeper significance as the story progressed?
8. The memoir explores evolution in the author’s spirituality and openness to possibility. Was this effectively conveyed? Did you relate to her process of questioning faith?
9. Did you find the solidarity the author discovered amongst other grieving parents believable or effective? How realistic did her path to activism feel given the rawness of emotion?
10. What was your biggest takeaway from this exploration of tragedy and meaning-making in the face of loss? Would you recommend this book to a fellow reader?
2. The memoir explores many complex emotions around grief like guilt, anger, faith in crisis, letting go, finding meaning, etc. Which aspect of grief do you think the author captured most vividly?
3. The author engages in many rituals to stay connected to her son like daily cemetery visits. Do you think these rituals help or hinder her healing? Can you relate to that desire to cling to connections?
4. What did you make of the author’s questions around the ethics of forgiveness after tragedy? Have you wrestled with similar moral dilemmas of what can be forgiven?
5. The memoir frequently personifies grief as an ever-present entity. What did this imagery evoke for you as a reader? Could you empathize with that sensation of grief as a “companion”?
6. Have you experienced sudden or traumatic loss? If so, did this memoir provide insight or resonance? For those who haven't, did it still feel emotionally compelling?
7. Which symbols or metaphors stood out to you most as encapsulating the author’s grief journey? Did any take on deeper significance as the story progressed?
8. The memoir explores evolution in the author’s spirituality and openness to possibility. Was this effectively conveyed? Did you relate to her process of questioning faith?
9. Did you find the solidarity the author discovered amongst other grieving parents believable or effective? How realistic did her path to activism feel given the rawness of emotion?
10. What was your biggest takeaway from this exploration of tragedy and meaning-making in the face of loss? Would you recommend this book to a fellow reader?
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